Compromised
by chloeewenzel
Summary: After the Tesseract Event, Clint and Natasha are left to piece back together their life that was never whole to begin with. The Avengers face a new catastrophe and are needed to save the world from evil once again.
1. Shawarma

The city of Manhattan was totally destroyed. Corpses of both human and alien littered every piece of pavement. Not a single building stood untouched. Not a single man, woman or child were unharmed, mentally or physically. From now on, today's events would haunt the dreams of everyone who was involved. People wept for their lost ones, others not even able to comprehend what had happened. There were ambulances and paramedics _everywhere_, trying their very best to save the injured without breaking down themselves because of the devastation.

And out of all the odds, the heroes who had eventually saved the world, were all silently sitting around a table in the small Shawarma joint, which managed to still be standing after everything that happened. Loki was unconscious in one of Starks thickly cemented rooms, which was made to blast fire at outstanding temperatures, originally made to test his suit. Now it was a prison cell.

The roof had caved in some, but nothing too bad. The employees all pitched in to keep the little shop running, cooking up every last bit of food they had and serving it to all the heroes in thanks for saving the world.

No one spoke as the floors were swept in a small attempt to tidy the place up by a young teen. Everyone was processing what had just happened. Tony had nearly died by sending a nuc into another universe, Bruce had finally taken control of what was inside of him, Captain America managed to lead us all in the dreadful battle, Thor helped in saving the world from his evil adopted brother, Natasha made a huge impact on the war, using her simple human abilities against aliens out of this world.

And then there was me. Basically the cause of everything that had happened. Phil was dead because of me. The Helicarrier had nearly failed to keep flight because of me. I shot Director Fury. I killed countless agents, some which were friends. I was ordered to rape and kill my partner, and almost did so if she wasn't such a strong willed woman.

And now I was apart of the team?

I didn't feel like one.

"Clint…" Natasha whispered, leaning against the table with her hot wrap in hand. I looked up from my lap, mildly surprised.

"Yeah?" I wasn't sure if the others could hear, but I didn't care.

"Put your leg on my chair." She scooted forward, leaving room for me as I plopped my boot on the small bit of space. She relaxed then, her tensed shoulders slumping as she took another bite into her meal.

I even felt comfortable like this, my foot signifying my dominance over this woman as people crowded around the store, taking pictures of everyone at the table and many men drooling over the red-head who could kick their asses with her eyes closed. The shop owner eventually locked the door, pulling the blinds shut and nodding to us with a smile. How can people ignore what was around them and concentrate on us eating lunch already?

When everyone finished their meals, filling their hungry belly's and standing stiffly to leave, Tony decided to leave a generous tip of a couple of thousand of dollars without anyone noticing, other then me.

We all limped silently back to Stark Tower, and I noticed Natasha favoring her left ankle more then necessarily as she limped alongside the rest of us. I slowed down, wrapping my arm around her waist and letting her lean into me as I helped her to hold herself better. Steve turned and gave us a small smile. I knew he understood the position we were in; we were only human, of course.

When we finally reached the tower and entered the elevator that, to our surprise, was still running after the damage caused to the place, we all plopped down onto the nearest piece of soft furniture we could find.

Tony (who had removed his suit) and Steve lay side by side on a large couch, not caring about their closeness or justice that fled with the contact. Thor took up his own lounge, sprawled out and removing the metal from his chest, throwing it to the floor and laying down with a grunt. Bruce had curled himself up on one of the love seats, hugging a pillow to his chest and closing his eyes.

There was only one love seat left, and I nodded for Natasha to take it, but she grabbed my hand and dragged me down with her, climbing onto the soft chair and curling into my chest. I sat in a way that avoided any injuries in my body to hurt, and I was sure she was doing the same.

Everyone laid there for hours, either sleeping, resting or just thinking of everything that had happened. Natasha breathed slowly on my chest, eyes closed, but not asleep.

I lay there wide awake, not daring to close my eyes, too afraid to face the horrors that await behind my lids. I didn't belong here. I didn't deserve any of this. I should be dead.

Soon enough Pepper Potts came running out of the elevator, basically jumping onto the lounge with Tony and nearly knocking Steve off the edge. She hugged him tightly, and he groaned and gritted his teeth in pain, but that didn't stop her.

"I thought you were dead!" she sobbed, burying her face in his chest. For the first time, Stark actually looked like he cared. He rubbed her back reassuringly, whispering in her ear that it was going to be okay and that he was alright.

Eventually we all got up, and Dr. Banner decided to do a quick check up on all of us.

Steve had a sprained wrist, which was already beginning to heal up. The Son of Odin had a graze or two here and there, nothing bad except for the stab wound which Loki had caused. It seemed that weapons from earth were harmless to the God, but weapons from his own world were lethal. Stark had pulled a muscle in his neck, but he just shrugged it off, causing a wince of pain in the process. I was pretty much fine, with just some deep cuts and pieces of shattered glass all embedded in my body. Natasha had indeed jarred her left ankle after landing on the gravel of Stark Tower after being chased by Loki, and other than that she had a few cuts and bruises just like me.

But I think the worst injury was the exhaustion that took over everyone's body.

"We'll deal with everything tomorrow, we deserve a break." Tony muttered. "There is plenty of room in this building. Go find yourselves a room that hasn't been affected by the battle, make yourselves at home. If you need anything, talk to Jarvis." He waved us off, taking a glass of water and two pain killers with him as he and Pepper walked hand in hand to the elevator.

Everyone got up, taking their own pain killers and glass of water as well, except Thor, who raised a blonde eyebrow but didn't say anything, swinging his deadly hammer around.

"Hey, be careful with that thing. If it hits a wall, the whole towers going down." I muttered, smiling slightly as he roared with laughter.

"Good job today, everyone. It was an honor to fight alongside such talented people. Sleep well, see you tomorrow." Steve smiled, saluting before chugging down his tablet and water and heading to the elevator, Thor quickly following behind after drinking a glass of water and throwing it to the ground, shattering the glass. He yanked the doors open before they even closed, joining Steve.

Natasha and I stood far from each other, me leaning against the marble bench while she sat on top of it. I sighed and threw the tablets down my throat and washing them down with water, and she did the same.

"Come here," she whispered after a long moment of silence, grabbing my arm and yanking me towards her. I ignored the pain, sliding between her legs and resting my forehead on her chest.

"I don't deserve any of this." I mumbled into her suit, my arms wrapping lightly around her waist as she rested her cheek on my head.

"Shh, don't be silly. You helped save this world just as much as any of us did. If it wasn't for you, Loki would have shot me off that flying machine and I would have died."

"It was my fault the war even took place anyway."

She pulled back, lifting my chin up with her finger and staring at me with angry eyes.

"Barton, you had _no _control over what you were doing. It was purely Loki. You were his puppet, alright? We already spoke about this." She said firmly, and I sighed.

"You have no idea what images he put into my mind. Of me hurting you, Nat." I whispered, letting my eyes slide close.

"You didn't hurt me. I know you wouldn't. You were fighting against his control the whole time, I could tell."

"How?" I opened my eyes.

"You gave up your bow way too easily when we fought. No matter what, that thing is basically a part of you, and you let me just yank it away. You were basically asking me to kick your ass, which I could do even if you had your bow." She giggled, punching me lightly on the shoulder.

"Yeah, I always fought. But I had no control."

"Just stop thinking about it. Let's go get some sleep." She tilted my head up again, kissing me gently on the lips. "We'll talk about everything tomorrow, okay?"

I nodded, savoring the feeling of her lips on mine, breathing in her scent.

"Tomorrow." I agreed, gently lifting her off the bench and setting her on her feet, supporting her weight once again.

"Ah, forgot about our injuries." She sighed, limping to the elevator and pressing the for the top floor.

"We'll deal with it tomorrow, too."

"No, you should see your back. It's worse than you think." She looked at me sternly, and we made our way to the room at the end of the hall, locking the door and taking in the vast room around us.

I sat on the edge huge bed, and she left and hobbled to the bathroom, returning with a first aid kit in hand.

"Pepper thinks of everything." She mused to herself, taking a seat behind me, unzipping my vest and removing the black shirt underneath. I heard her gasp lightly, and was thankful I couldn't see the wounds for myself.

"Just get it over and done with, I want to check your ankle." I sighed, trying not to wince as she plucked the shards of glass out of my skin and dropped them into a glass bowel, making a _clink_ sound with every piece. I counted eighty seven by the time she was done.

"Try not to go smashing through windows next time, alright? I don't have the patience to do this all the time." She sighed, dabbing some antiseptic onto the cuts, the stinging only bothering me a little. She wiped me down, leaving the bloody tissues in the bowel as she patched me up as best as she could.

"It's kind of hard when dozens of aliens are coming at you from every corner." I smiled, sliding off the bed and kneeling on the floor, and she looked at me, confused.

"I'm not going to be able to bandage you up too well with that cat-suit on. Take it off, here," I handed her my shirt, which would be big enough to cover her body with. She nodded, slipping the skin tight suit down her body and replacing it with my shirt. I tried my hardest to avert my eyes, but it's not like I haven't seen her naked before, and she was not naked with the bra and panties she wore.

She straightened her perfect leg, and I grasped her ankle lightly, examining the swollen skin with care. I sighed, planting a soft kiss on it before wrapping it firmly in a bandage, moving next to her on the bed and examining any further wounds.

"That's it," she said before I would look at her more closely, but I knew she was lying.

I grasped her shoulders, yanking up her shirt so I could see the massive fist-sized bruise on her ribcage. I pressed my own fist against it; it matched it perfectly.

I felt like vomiting in my own mouth.

"It wasn't your fault." She sighed, and I turned my attention to another injury, an egg on her forehead, which I knew was from me as well.

"I-I cant do this." I turned away, but she grabbed my bare chest quickly.

"I need you to." She almost pleaded, turning me back around and showing me the cuts that would leave fresh scars all over her already scarred body. I sighed, nodding and getting to work at stitching up the cut on her forehead and arms, back and legs. I knew she liked the way I stitched them up. Small, tight, firm.

We didn't shower, merely brushed our teeth before sliding into the huge king-sized bed, me still shirtless and in my pants and her still wearing my dirty black shirt.

She turned into my chest, resting her head in the crook of my arm as I leant down and kissed her lightly on the head, draping my own arm over her waist. She was asleep first, and I felt myself finally giving in as exhaustion took over and I was breathing evenly next to her.

* * *

_Tell me what you think, I have great plans for this :)_


	2. Paris

The next day, Loki and Thor were to be sent off back to Asgard along with the Tesseract at one o'clock sharp.

Natasha and I arrived together in a hired S.H.I.E.L.D car, Steve on his old motorbike, Tony and Bruce in one of a custom Iron Man designed car, and Loki and Thor arriving with Dr. Selvig.

Loki wore a heavy looking mouth guard, stopping his trickster tongue from talking. He glared at each of us one by one, and I felt every muscle in my body tense in hate for that stupid man.

We all circled around him, and I reached for my back pocket. I only have one shot at this.

I withdrew my sharp dagger, snapping it open behind my back. I was ready to strike, to slash that mans eye out of his socket, but when a small hand circled my wrist and stopped me from moving, I sighed. She pried the weapon out of my hand, slipping it into her own pocket of her brown leather jacket.

I stood ridged as Thor turned to nod at all of his friends.

"Until we meet again." He smiled lightly.

We all nodded, and Natasha leaned in, her mouth only centimeters away from my ear.

"All the horny men in the prison in Asgard wont be too happy with that mouth guard covering his lips." She whispered, and I couldn't help but smile slightly at her inappropriate humor.

And then they vanished in a flash of blue light, leaving all five of us staring up into the sky.

"Director Fury told me to inform all of you that you are free for a month to do whatever you want. He said he'll organize a meeting to discuss everything after that. But now, he's got a city to clean, and he thanks you all for your courage." Dr. Selvig smiled, nodding to us all. He turned to get into his car, but I jogged after him.

"Hey, Doc, what has Fury done with Loki's Scepter?"

"Agent, I don't even know." He sighed, hopping into his car.

He looked down at me, and smiled lightly.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, son. It wasn't your fault, okay? It was none of our faults! He used our bodies as knowledge for what he didn't have. You need to accept what is. I did."

I seemed to have forgotten that I wasn't the only one who had been under Loki's control. Dr. Selvig had made the machine that opened the portal, and I helped get the tools needed, but it wasn't us.

"Thanks, Doc." I smiled.

"You have heart," he repeated the words that Loki had said to me before he took over my body. "Use it well."

He slapped me on the shoulder before closing his door and starting his engine, driving away and out of sight.

"Where are we heading." Natasha came up behind me, touching my hand and turning me around.

"Lets go to Paris." I shrugged, walking over to the car. I shook everyone's hands, smiling and thanking them for what they have done. Natasha hugged all the men, saying the same.

The car was full to the brim with petrol, and I hopped in the drivers seat, starting the engine and turning corners, heading to the airport. S.H.I.E.L.D can pay for everything we bought, Fury owes us something.

So we drove in silence, arriving at the airport, which had managed to stay up after the war, only private flights were flying out though, and luckily, being the two deadly assassins who helped saved the world, we got our privileges.

The seven hour flight seemed to drag on forever, and we sat there for hours in silence, watching the view or reading or playing a DVD or just thinking. Eventually I spoke up.

"When you told me that you had been compromised by Loki…what did you mean? What did he do to you?"

She looked up from one of her native Russian book, irritated that I had interrupted her. She sighed, folding the corner of the page and placing the book beside her, turning her attention to me.

"You already know what he was going to make you do to me, right? Rape and kill me?" she said slowly, eyes staring into the distance at the memory. I just nodded.

"Well, I was sent to interrogate him… and he said some things to me. They didn't effect me at the time, I just put the act on… and then he said 'I won't touch Barton, not until I make him kill you. Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear. And then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I'll split his skull!'" she mimicked his voice with perfection.

She looked at me then, eyes glistening slightly.

"The thought of you dying, it just… never really seemed like it would happen, until he said those words, and I knew he was capable of doing it. He revealed a knew part of me, Clint. And when I heard that you were on the Helicarrier, I was the first to respond. He made me realize that I love you. More then I knew I did, anyway." She smiled lightly, shaking her head and looking away.

"I was so scared I was going to loose you before I got to tell you that." She whispered after a long moment of silence, voice shaky and weak.

"I fought for you." I said eventually, taking in what she said. "Every moment, I fought for you, you're the only reason I didn't give up. I made a vowel that those images of you dying that Loki had put in my head, wouldn't happen. And it didn't."

She smiled up at me again, nodding.

Our relationship had always been like this. Always walking on the blade of a knife. We kept our distance; love only leads to danger on the field. I stopped myself from taking things too far when we kissed, to always pull back when things got heated. And I knew she would do the same if I didn't. I'd seen her body and she'd seen mine, only during missions of course, where we had to get dressed in the same room or shower together; but it had always come naturally. We remembered each others scars, knew and old, each one holding its own story. We knew each other like we knew ourselves, every glint in the eye, every fold of a frown, every tone of voice or tensed muscle, we were like open books, but only to each other.

So when she scooted over in her seat, leaned in, placing her hand on the side of my face and pulling me down, I didn't resist. It was too late for that now. It seems that thanks to Loki, we have been bought closer then we ever have been before.

Then she kissed me. Not the normal, quick kisses we share after missions or for comfort, but a kiss that came from deep inside.

She cupped my face with both hands now, and I pulled her onto me, her thighs on either side of my body. I hugged her close, her small waist pressing into my chest as she knelt up slightly.

Our kiss was slow, intimate, with so much love and feelings going into it that it was overwhelming. Our breathing was ragged and we fought for dominance with our tongues, a never-ending battle.

She ran her hands through my hair and down my back, over my arms and tracing my chest and stomach, making me shiver and bite her lip, which caused a moan to slip through her lips. I smiled slightly, traveling my arms up her spine, down her waist and back again. She was perfect.

She pulled away then, and my lips traveled from her lips to her jaw line, down to her neck and to her collarbone. She sighed loudly, tilting her head back and digging her nails into my neck.

"Clint…" she gasped, cupping my face once more and staring me in the eye, both our breathing ragged and loud. Her eyes glistened with something I had never seen before. Lust? Love?

It was a new page for me to read of my open book.

Then she yawned, and I looked out the window, realizing how dark it was and that it was probably late.

"Sleep. I'll wake you when we're about to land, won't be too long now." I scooped her from off my lap, laying her down on the cushiony seats and draping a small blanket over her as she propped her head under the plane pillow. She smiled lightly up at me before closing her eyes, her breathing leveling out finally as she fell into unconsciousness. I decided to hum a random tune, I knew she loved listening to my voice to get to sleep; it made her feel safe, and eventually I rested my head against the seat and dozed off as well.

* * *

The five star hotel we stayed at was said to be the best in Paris; perfect view of the Eiffel Tower, a tropical pool setting, the best room service and a restaurant down by the lobby, not to mention the beach that was just a twenty minute walk away. The first thing on our list was shopping; Natasha claimed that she had never actually had the chance to shop like the woman she was… she never had the time. And Paris was the best place to shop, according to her.

I let her take care of all the talking. She can speak so many different languages that it was overwhelming, she sounded like she'd been speaking French since she was born.

She walked through the streets like she belonged there, slinking past in her tight jeans, black high-heel boots and black coat that went to her mid-thigh with large buttons. He grey scarf kept her warm and her hair blew around her face in a flurry of red; she looked perfect.

"Keep up, Barton." She called behind as I pushed my way through the crowed, wearing my own jeans and loose black button up top.

Word seemed to get around fast; the Tesseract Event happened three days ago now, and already people were staring in shock as we wandered in and out of shops, small crowds following eagerly.

"We're famous," I joked, pushing her lightly on she shoulder. She still had a small limp, only something I could notice, but both our wounds had heeled rather fast.

"I'm sure they're only looking at the sexy archer and your arms." She joked, pushing me back.

"Nat, we both know they're all jealous of the beautiful woman who was the only female that helped save the world. And looking at your ass," I added.

She laughed, something that was like music to my ears, as we made our way into another shop.

She looked through the racks, examining items closely but not choosing anything in particular.

"You haven't bought anything." I mused, looking around the shop.

"Nothing's caught my eye." She replied as she pulled out a light blue ½ sleeve shirt, pressing it against her body before putting it back again.

"Hey, I liked that one." I quickly grabbed it, hanging it over my arm. She smiled, raising an eyebrow, and something behind her caught my eye. I walked over to the mannequin, taking the grey woolen slouch beanie from its head and plopping it onto her head before readjusting it.

I turned her around so she faced the mirror. It suited her perfectly.

"You're getting that one, too." I said, grabbing it off as she made a fuss about her red curls.

She went and bought them, putting them on Fury's tab for him to pay when the bill was sent. I carried the bag for her like any gentleman would do as we walked out.

"I think I'm done for today."

"You hardly bought anything?"

"We have a whole month for shopping." She smirked, putting her hands in the pocket of her coat. It was chilly out.

"So, where to now?" I said after minutes of silence.

"I don't know, lets go to-"

"Well, well. Small world, isn't it?" a voice interrupted a she began to talk.

We turned, confused, only to see Tony Stark standing with his arms out, Pepper smiling shyly behind him.

"Oh, great." Natasha mumbled, before smiling.

"We were wondering where you two love birds were nesting. Now we just need to find Steve! Bruce is down the street with his girlfriend. Betty, I think her name is." Tony smiled, and Pepper nodded, almost to herself.

"Well, tell Bruce we said hi. We were just heading home." Natasha smiled, nudging me slightly with her elbow. I smiled and nodded.

"Oh, alright. See you soon though. By the way, have you guys gotten as much attention from random's as us? I'm even more famous than before!"

"Unfortunately, yes." I answered coolly.

"How is that unfortunate?" Stark raised an eyebrow.

"Well, when you're a spy, you kind of need to keep your identity a secret. Now everyone knows who we are, it's going to get in the way of our work."

"Oh, nonsense." He waved it off, chuckling lightly.

"Well, we best be going. See you later Stark, Pepper." Natasha smiled, nodding and hugging the older woman.

"Great, Stark's in Paris. I thought this was going to be a peaceful holiday." She muttered as we entered our hotel, stomping into the elevator and ignoring the stares we both got.

"Yeah, we're just going to have to avoid him for a while. We can do it." I joked, bending down to kiss her lightly on the forehead. She leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

We stood like that until the elevator doors opened, and we walked slowly to our room, unlocking the white door.

The bed had been re-made and the room cleaned by the maid we requested, and it was nice to just plop onto the comfy king-sized bed and kick my shoes off. Natasha shrugged off her coat, removing her scarf and taking off her white shirt from underneath. She put on her newly bought shirt, and it hugged her body perfectly.

"I told you it was nice." I sat up, watching as she examined herself in the mirror, turning to see herself in different angles. She smiled, taking off her black boots and plopping down beside me.

"A whole month." She whispered, mainly to herself. "How are we going to keep busy for that long?"

"Maybe we don't have to be busy, lets just relax." I laid down again, pulling her into my chest and breathing in her sweet scent. She sighed, her warm breath tickling my neck.

We watched through the window as the sun set, the city alight with a golden glow. Paris really was beautiful.

"We'll go out to dinner tomorrow night, dress up nice and fancy." I said after a while, and she rolled off the bed, cracking her neck and looking down at me.

"Sure thing," she smiled. She seemed to be smiling a lot lately.

She grabbed a towel and walked to the bathroom, and I listened as she turned the shower on and washed herself. I hummed lightly, turning on a lamp by the side of the bed. It was very peaceful here.

She walked out in a mid-thigh silken robe, the golden colour making her legs look creamy underneath. She ran her fingers absentmindedly through her wet hair, sauntering over to her suitcase and pulling out a pair of silky black panties and a black singlet. She began to pull her robe off her shoulders, but cast a glance my way.

"Look away, Barton. You don't need to see me naked unless its necessary." She smirked, and I growled, grabbing a pillow and covering my face. I listened to the rustling of fabric, and finally she pulled the pillow off my face, crawling under the covers. I smiled.

"My turn." I stood up, heading for the shower myself. The water was hot against my skin, a nice change from the cool wind that had been whipping at me all day. The hotel soap was a rich coconut scented bar, and I lathered myself in the bubbles before walking out with my towel wrapped around my waist.

She lay in bed, almost expectantly, watching me as I grabbed my own boxers. I raised an eyebrow, and she giggled, grabbing the same pillow and covering her own eyes, although I could still feel her watching as I slipped them on.

I joined her under the covers; her skin felt like silk against mine, no clothes to ruin the contact. I ran my hand up her freshly shaven leg, and she eventually turned, hitching her leg around my own and pulling me close.

Her lips smashed into mine, and I cocooned her in my arms, tracing her spin from under her singlet. She wore no bra, and she pressed her breasts firmly against my chest. Soon my hand lingered near her own chest, before I slowly grasped one full breast in my hand, massaging it softly, a soft moan escaping her lips.

We were crossing a huge boundary with this contact, but after years of holding back, it felt so _right_. And eventually I pulled away, breaking the kiss and causing a growl to escape her lips.

I chuckled lightly, still holding her close, before he leaned over me and turned off the lamp. She felt under the pillow for our guns, making sure they were there, before curling up against my chest.

"Goodnight, Nat." I whispered, kissing her lightly on the head.

"Sleep tight," she replied, hugging me a little bit tighter before we drifted into an easy sleep in each other's arms, listening to the crashing of the waves nearby as the cool wind blew through the window, giving me another excuse to snuggle in closer to the angel in my arms.

* * *

_Yay for another chapter, just something to fill in the gaps. Please review!_


	3. Fantasize

One thing I learnt about Natasha Romanoff on our holiday in Paris, was that she was a tease.

I couldn't even count the times she had me under her finger even if I tried. She was constantly throwing glances my way, touching me gently but never enough, always being the seducess she was made to be.

_Right now I was just walking out of the shower, waist wrapped in the heavy hotel towel. I sighed, running a hand through my wet hair and making my way to my clothes, when something caught my eye on the bed._

_She lay there in her tiny silk gown, legs bent upwards with a book resting on them. Her gown had slipped up, revealing the small lacy white panties she wore. It was also slightly parted at her chest, revealing an amazing amount of breast._

_I chuckled inwardly, turning back again to grab my clothes. I got changed, ignoring the sound of the pages in the book rustling as she leafed through it, closing it with a snap and placing it on the bed-side table. I watched as she rolled over gracefully, facing me as she lay on her stomach, purposely showing more cleavage than necessary._

"_Coming to bed, Barton?" she purred, kicking her legs lazily in the air, hitching her gown higher up her ass. I turned, smiling as I bought out a bottle of Vodka, watching her eyes widen with interest._

"_Sure." I plopped on the bed beside where she lay, opening the bottle and taking a swig of the burning alcohol. She reached out, taking it from my hand and tipping the contents down her throat, swallowing easy. _

_We did that for a while, taking turns in drinking from the bottle, until there was only one mouthful left. She giggled, reaching for the bottle, but I yanked it out of the way before she got it, causing her face to collapse near my semi-hardness. I gasped slightly, and she looked up at me, a glint in her eye as she changed positions, crawling on all fours and straddling my lap. _

_Her face lingered close to mine, brushing her lips against my own as she sneakily pried the bottle from my hand, finished the rest of the contents before throwing the bottle to the ground._

"_You knew vodka was my favourite, didn't you?" she whispered, grazing my ear with her teeth._

"_Thought it was a nice treat." I whispered back, cupping her hips with my hands. She ground into me, giggling lightly as I kissed trails from her jaw to her neck and back again._

"_It was very…nice."_

_We sat like this for a while, me planting a trail of kisses along her skin and she continued to grind against me. Soon, though, she pushed me down so I was laying on my back, and she ran her hands up and down my bare abbs before slamming her lips to mine._

_It was an intense kiss, slightly sloppy, but still good as she forced her tongue into my mouth and shoved it half way down my throat, a moan, which sounded unlike my own, escaping. She bucked her hips against mine, breathing heavy._

_I flipped us over so I was on top of her, supporting my weight as not to crush her little body. She opened her legs, letting me slide easily between them. I broke the kiss, pulling away, and she let out a small hiss, eyes annoyed._

_I smirked, pulling her silky gown over her shoulders slowly, eyes never leaving hers as I untied the sash from around her waist, letting the silk flow off her body in a wave of gold. She wore nothing underneath, just her lacy white panties, and she propped herself on her elbows, giving me a full look at her breasts. _

_She raised an eyebrow, but soon closed her eyes as my hands moved to her chest, grasping at the large breasts, which were warm in my palm. She slowly threw her head back, a small moan escaping her lips as I took one hard nipple in my mouth, sucking and flicking it teasingly._

_Once again, her hips bucked, and I smiled down at her, pulling away from her breast, letting my hands travel down the plane of her abbs and to the waistband of her panties. She glanced down at me, eyes shining with lust, as I pulled the edge away from between her legs._

_She was wet, soaking wet, her pink slit glistening in the light as I ran my fingers lightly across the sensitive flesh. She gasped, body jolting slightly at the unexpected touch, and I chuckled, digging my fingers into the heated flesh. She moaned loudly, and I added a second, then a third finger into her, pumping in and out and wiggling them back and forth in a 'come hither' motion. _

_She dug her nails into my shoulders, and I could feel the trickle of blood, but ignored it. I worked her to her finishing point, her insides clenching and unclenching around my fingers as she came, screaming curses in Russian as her body jolted underneath my own._

"_Clint…" she whispered, clutching me to her body as she lay under me limply, trying to even out her breathing. _

I woke with a start, body flushing with heat. Was that a dream?

I sat up, eyes roaming over the carpet. There was no empty vodka bottle where it should have been thrown.

I sighed. It was just a dream.

I laid back down, kicking the blankets off, too hot to keep them on. I tried to even out my breathing, closing my eyes only to see the images of Natasha laying underneath me with my fingers doing their work. Her screams echoed through my head, and I scrunched my eyes together, pushing my palms onto them as if to push the images out, no matter how much I liked them. I let out a growl of frustration.

"Something wrong, Barton?"

My head snapped to the left, only to see Natasha clutching the blanket to her chest, laying on her side and staring up at me. It was dull in the room, hardly morning yet, and I could see her eyes sparkling with confusion.

"Just a… bad dream." I breathed, looking away from her. She scooted closer to me anyway, resting her head on my bicep.

"Well, from the sounds of it, it didn't seem like a bad dream." She murmured, staring up at the roof. I raised my eyebrow.

"What do you…?"

"You talk in your sleep, Barton." She stated, shrugging her shoulders and turning to look at me, a smirk playing at the corners of her lips.

"What was I saying?" I felt my face drain of blood. She cannot know what I dreamt about.

"You were just moaning my name, talking about something being wet…" she wandered off, raising her own eyebrow this time.

"It was nothing." I quickly stuttered, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks and being thankful that she couldn't see much in this light. She tried to suppress a giggle, and I tried to roll over, but she held me down.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed. It's not like I haven't fantasized about you before either." She said casually, looking back at the roof in remembrance.

I cocked my head to the side.

"I wasn't fantasizing, it was actually _me_ doing stuff to _you _and we… wait, did you just saying you've fantasized about me?"

She chuckled slyly, still staring at the roof.

"It's been a _very_ long time since I have received pleasure from a man. A woman has to do what a woman has to do."

"How long has it been?" I asked suddenly. She turned to look at me then, eyes wary.

"You tell me first." She decided after a moments silence. I widened my eyes, rolling over to face her properly.

"Will you tell me if I do?"

"Of course."

I sighed, trying to think back to the last time I had actually engaged in sexual activity with a woman.

"Ahh, I'd say eleven months ago. Almost a year."

Hey eyes nearly popped out of her head in bewilderment, and once again I could feel myself blushing.

"Who was it?" she asked suddenly, her voice cold.

I frowned, considering telling her the truth, and I knew she'd kill me if she found out I was lying, so the truth it is.

"Well, you know Sharon Carter…"

"Her?!"

She basically leapt out of bed in shock.

"What?"

"You had sex with that blonde haired mole before you had sex with me?" she nearly shrieked. I started laughing, getting louder and louder, and I knew I was in danger.

"Your turn to tell me" I muttered, trying to suppress my chuckles. She sighed, climbing back into the bed. I knew this wasn't the last of it.

"Well, the last time would have to be around four to six months ago." She admitted shyly. I raised an eyebrow.

"You're lying." I decided. The Black Widow wouldn't go that long without _some_ sort of intimacy with a man.

"Nope, all truth."

"Who was it?"

She hesitated before answering.

"Well, you know when I had to go on that mission to become Tony's assistance at Stark Industries?"

"You've got to be kidding." It was my turn to be shocked now.

"No, no, no! I didn't sleep with Stark, you idiot. He had a few good looking clients, and I gave one of them a night they wouldn't forget." She smiled to herself.

"Did you enjoy it?" I asked after a while. She shook her head.

"To be honest, I tried imagining him being you, but he wasn't good enough for that." She sighed, resting her head back onto my bicep.

"How would you know how good I am in bed?" I asked suddenly, smiling. She turned to look at me, eyes serious.

"I can tell just by the way your body is built that you would be one hell of a lay." She declared, laughing lightly.

"Should we find out?" I leaned up, brushing my lips against hers before she pulled away.

"Well, your only options would be to tell me about you and Sharon, or go to sleep unless you want broken fingers." She threatened easily.

I thought back to my dream, and then realized that I liked my fingers for other purposes other than archery, and I sighed, getting comfortable.

"Night, Nat."

"Goodnight."

* * *

_Just a funny little chapter I thought I'd put in, before things got too serious. REVIEW!_


	4. Invitations

I sat down on the lounge with a grunt, sprawling out on the piece of furniture and turning on the TV. I listened to the sound of popping coming from the microwave, and soon enough Natasha came sauntering into the living room with a bowl of white and yellow popcorn in her hand. I breathed in the smell, and soaked in the sight of her in her small silken robe, which certainly didn't have much underneath it. She glanced back at me as she sunk down into the lounge graciously, giving me a good sight of her ass.

Like I said, she was a tease.

I scooped her into my arms and pressed play on the remote, the film The Lion King coming on. I glanced down at Natasha, raising my eyebrow.

"Shut up, I really like this movie, it's cute!" she defended herself, throwing a piece of popcorn at me, which I caught in my mouth.

"Don't worry, Tasha, I think _your_ cute." I nuzzled her hair with my nose, breathing in her scent as she rested into me, her back against my chest and my arm wrapped lazily around her to take handful's of popcorn.

"Remember when you first called me that?" she asked suddenly, drawing my attention away from the cartoon.

"I do."

She smiled up at me, remembrance in her eyes as she chewed on her popcorn.

* * *

"_Why did you have to be so reckless!" she screamed at me as we walked into the small motel room. I stormed in after her, slamming the door shut behind us._

"_I saved our lives, sometimes there's a need to be reckless!" I shouted back, dropping my bow and quiver to the floor, not caring about being gentle._

_After our mission had taken a turn for the worst and we had to kill our way out, Natasha had been screaming at me non-stop._

"_Just because one of his guards slapped my ass doesn't mean you have to slit his throat!" she yelled as she unzipped her cat-suit and stripped out of it. Her creamy white body was fully exposed, and I could see cuts and scrapes and bruises scattered around her already scarred body. She turned her back to me, and I could see a slight pink mark forming on the bottom of her ass, her panties covering the most of it._

"_Look at that mark he left! That wasn't a slap, that was more like a belting! He was way to rough." I motioned to her, and she strode across the room half naked, pulling out the first aid kit and rummaging through it._

"_So you decided you'd blow our cover and mess the whole operation up?" _

_I sighed, taking off my own clothes up to my boxers and walking over to the small sink in the corner of the room._

"_Yeah, I guess so." I cupped some water in my hand and threw it over my face, the cool liquid dripping off my chin and onto my chest. I examined my own injuries, just a few scrapes and bruises here and there. _

"_Fury's going to kill us." she shot back._

"_Coulson will cover us, he always does." He mumbled as I took a seat beside her on the bed as she pulled out some gauze pads. She tipped some antiseptic onto the white fabric and started dabbing her wounds lightly, wincing at the sting slightly. She went through four pads before they lay in a bloody pile, and she started on me._

_I leant back slightly as she began to dab my arms, back, chest and stomach. I don't know how we managed to get so injured, but considering the whole building blew up, there were some possibilities. _

_I examined her as she worked on my body. Her lips were pursed in a straight line, eyebrows furrowed slightly as she fixed me up. She had blood dripping down the side of her face, and I got my own pad and started to wipe it up. _

_She went to pull away at first, but relaxed and let me fix her up as we closed our wounds with liquid bandage and sighed with relief. She stood up and decided to shrug on her small silken robe to cover her exposed body. I got up too, following her to the bathroom as we brushed our teeth. She looked exhausted._

"_Look, I'm really sorry things turned out the way they did. It just makes me angry when men take advantage of you like that…"_

"_Is that why you don't?" she asked, turning off the tap and facing me._

"_You're my partner, its improper to think like that." I said, confused._

"_But you do." She stated matter-of-fact._

"_W-what?" I stammered, feeling my cheeks go red. She took a step forward, only a breath away from me._

"_I've known you for years, Barton. You're an open book to me as I am to you. I can see in your eyes that you think differently of me then just partners." She whispered, her mouth dangerously close to mine._

"_I don't know what your talking about."_

"_Oh, don't lie!" she whispered harshly. "I know you want to close the distance between us… to feel my skin against yours…"_

_I tried to think back to how the conversation led to this. I knew she was right; when your partner is a flaming haired seducess with the body of a goddess, it was kind of hard not to think of her in wrong ways._

"_Well, I try not to show it, unlike others." I gestured to her ass, and she grabbed my hand and hitched it beneath her silken robe and placed it against the swell, and I could feel the soft, heated skin from the slap. She sighed slightly, leaning against my chest and forcing me to grasp it tighter._

"_This is showing it." she murmured, running her hand up my back and across my arms._

"_This is forceful. I could charge you for this." I muttered, trying desperately to control my thoughts._

"_But you wouldn't." she breathed, running her fingers gently along my chest. She started kissing a trail along my neck and up my jaw, grinding into my growing erection._

"_Fuck, Tasha…" I breathed, closing my eyes and grasping her ass more firmly in the palm of my hand. _

_She pulled back, surprise in her eyes as she raised an eyebrow._

"_Tasha?" she asked._

"_Oh, sorry, it slipped…" I stuttered, releasing her from my grasp and running my now free hand through my hair._

"_Don't be sorry. I like it." she looked thoughtful for a minute._

"_Natasha… Natash… Nat… Tasha." I tested them all, causing her to growl slightly._

"_I like 'Nat'" she decided. "Actually, I like them both." _

"_Alright then, Nat." I mocked, and she slapped me lightly on the arm. She looked down between us, to the bulge in my pants. She leant up and kissed me lightly on the cheek._

"_Sorry. Not tonight, big boy." She walked out of the bathroom._

_Tease._

* * *

"It wasn't funny." I mumbled as she laughed hysterically beside me, popcorn now scattered across the floor and forgotten.

"You should have seen your face when I walked away!" She gasped, eyes watering with tears.

"You just left me!" I defended, pushing her playfully away. She fake pouted, but still continued to laugh.

"Oh, you _so_ had it coming."

"Alright, how would you like it if I got you all worked up then left you hanging?" I muttered, trying not to laugh as she giggled away.

"You wouldn't." she finally calmed down, sitting cross-legged in front of me.

"Wouldn't I?" I challenged, leaning forward. She grinned.

"We'll see…" she murmured, and she pressed her lips to mine eagerly as I pulled her onto my lap and cupped her hips in my hands.

She held me on either side of my face, her kiss forceful and demanding. I laid back until my head hit the soft cushion, and her hands left my face as she skimmed them up and down my bare chest, causing me to shiver lightly under her fingertips. Her breathing was heavy, and I eagerly pulled at the strings of her robe, pulling it over her shoulders and leaving it in a puddle of gold on the floor. Her exposed breasts bounced before my eyes, and I instantly grabbed one in my hand, causing her to buckle against me involuntarily.

I twirled her nipple to a point beneath my calloused fingers, and she moaned my name against my lips as she clawed at my body. I smirked against her mouth, kissing a trail from her lips to her jaw line, down her neck and to her collar bone…

I took her other nipple in my mouth, suckling and nipping at it lightly as she rocked against me and threw her head back with a loud cry.

I swirled my tongue over the nub lightly, before letting it go and taking over the other nipple, mimicking the same actions and getting the same response.

Then there was a loud knock on the door, and she instantly leapt off the lounge and had her gown on in a split second. I growled lightly, getting off the lounge as well and fetching my gun from the shelf. She did the same, while trying to tame her wild hair and even her breathing.

We walked to the door, guns hidden behind our backs. There was no peephole in the door, and I was sure to make a complaint about that tomorrow. She nodded at me before I unlocked the door and swung it open slowly, only to reveal a happy Stark and a tired Pepper.

We both growled, bringing out our guns and walking away as he invited himself in. He wore a pair of jeans and a black top, and Pepper was wrapped snugly in a big jumper and pyjama shorts.

"Wow, calm down guys, we're not going to kill you." He put his hands up in mock innocence, and I felt the need to point the barrel at his head. We threw our guns onto the bed, plopping onto the mattress.

Tony looked around, eyes widening slightly at the sight of popcorn on the floor.

"Sorry if we disturbed anything…" Pepper begun, and Tony flashed a mischievous smile our way. Natasha and I looked at each other, before turning back to them.

"No, no. We were just talking about the past before something funny came up…" Natasha began, a smirk playing at her lips. Tony sighed and sat down on one of the chairs, pulling Pepper onto his lap, and she looked around uncomfortably.

"What are you doing here, Stark?" I finally asked, raising an eyebrow before digging through my suitcase and shrugging on a shirt.

"_We_ are here to give you your invitations." He said, pulling out two envelopes from his pockets.

"Invitations? Invitations for what?" Natasha asked, and Tony flicked them over to us so they scattered onto the bed.

I picked one up. The envelopes were heavy, and inside there was a sheet of thick paper in white and gold that it would make any wedding invitation look plain.

_Dear Agent Clint Barton._

_You have been invited to attend the Avengers dinner reunion._

_Time: 7:00 pm_

_Date: 22__nd__ of September_

_Place: __La Méditerranée_

_We hope to see you there._

I put down the invitation, watching Natasha read hers.

"We'll be there." I smiled, stretching and enjoying the sound of my neck cracking and releasing the annoying kinks. Natasha nodded, smiling as she collected our fine invitations and set them aside.

"Looking forward to it." she got up, hugging Pepper lightly.

"What do we wear?" I asked cautiously. I hated those monkey suits…

"Oh, just the normal suits, ball gowns, whatever is formal. I had to pull a lot of strings to book this dinner, it's _very_ expensive, so please make it worth my while. Don't come in some jeans and a sweatshirt. Look decent, like me. I'm sure you can pull it off." He stood up, taking Pepper with him.

I growled. Stupid monkey suits.

"Whatever you say, hotshot." Natasha mumbled, walking them out to the door. I waved goodbye to the couple.

"We'll let you two get back to whatever you left off…" He turned and winked at me, and I frowned at him before he walked out the door.

"Always getting interrupted…" Natasha breathed, rubbing her eyes and yawning loudly.

"I told you I could leave you hanging." I smiled evilly up at her.

"Oh please." She climbed into bed, closing her eyes and grunting angrily as her head hit the pillow.

I climbed in next to her, making sure my gun was in reaching-range, before wrapping my arm over her and falling asleep beside her.

* * *

_REVIEW!_


	5. Secrets

Behind every human being or hero alike, there are secrets. Dark secrets, which always threaten the well being of the bearer.

That's why I shut them out; my feelings. Feelings only lead to sadness. If you open yourself up, your giving your body and mind over to the darkness.

That is what I believed in.

Then I met Clint Barton, the man who made a different call. The man who changed my life and saved me from what I had become. I never had to face the Red Room again, never had to go through the torture or pain, I was never used as their puppet, to seduce and kill, to throw my body around like a rag doll.

He changed my view on things, that man did. He showed me that I wasn't just a puppet to the Soviet agency. He helped me leave my old life for a new one.

Then I opened up. Although I kept myself cold and professional for years at S.H.I.E.L.D, always feared and watched in case I turned. Almost everyone knew some detail about my former life but not all of it, no one but Clint, Fury, Coulson and unfortunately the Counsel.

I fell for Clint before I even knew I had, and things changed between us. We were more then friends but less then lovers; we were the perfect partners for each other. We were best friends, soul mates.

So when I told Loki that love was for children, I knew I was lying to myself. Because I felt love, I did everything I could for that love. Maybe we were children in the form of adults, maybe love _was_ for children and we were living in a dream.

"_I won't touch Barton, not until I make him kill you, slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear. And then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams I'll split his skull!"_

His words had haunted my dreams almost every night since I was sent to manipulate Loki. Although on the outside I was faking my fear, my insides were screaming in sorrow. I would die at the hands of the only man I trusted and he would die at Loki's.

And Loki surely knew all our secrets, so that's why I kept the very worse one to myself.

* * *

"Zip me up, will you?"

I walked over to Clint, who was tying the laces to his shiny black shoes. He glanced up at me, eyes widening slightly at the sight, which gave me butterflies.

I wore I shimmering, strapless red dress which hugged my body in all the right ways, and it flowed down to my feet with a split that started mid thigh that ran down to the bottom too.

"Shit, Nat." He breathed. I raised an eyebrow, motioning to the fabric, which I held to my chest to stop it from falling down. He nodded, mumbling 'right, right' as if to snap himself out of his thoughts. I rolled my eyes and turned my back to him.

He ghosted his fingers over my spine as he grabbed the zip that sat at the small of my back. His fingers tickled my skin, and I tried to unsuccessfully suppress the shudder that ran through me. He chuckled lightly, zipping the dress up so it finally was tight around my body and I didn't have to hold it up.

I dropped my arms from my chest and adjusted the dress til it was perfectly wrapped around me, and I sighed as Clint's arms snaked their way around my waist and pulled my back against his chest.

I lent into him, feeling his warmth. He rested his cheek atop my head and breathed in my scent, and I wound my hands with his own around my waist. We stood like this in silence for a long moment, savouring the feel of each other.

I'd felt him in many other ways before. Many intimate ways. Skin to skin contact, the feel of him inside of me. It was no lie that we had made love before. I had awoken from a nightmare of the past in the Red Room, and he had been there to comfort me. That was months ago, before Loki, and we never spoke of it, acted like it never happened, let things go back to normal.

It was just another one of those things that proved my love for him.

"Are you nearly ready?" he finally broke the silence, pulling away from me and walking to grab the black jacket to his suit. He shrugged it on. I love the sight of him in formal wear.

"Almost. Hair, makeup and jewellery." I counted them off mostly to myself, heading to the bathroom, my red heels clicking against the tiles.

I gave myself a smoky-eye look, the one that Clint loved so much, and decided to spice things up with some blood-red lipstick that matched my outfit. I left my hair in the loose red curls that bounced around my face, and put some silver bangles, necklace and earrings in to complete the look.

I walked out of the bathroom, met with the smell of freshly sprayed cologne, which reminded me to spray my own sweet perfume that I loved so much. Such sweet perfume for such a dark woman…

"Beautiful…" Clint was watching me from the door, arms crossed over his chest. I flashed him a smile.

"Weapons?"

He pulled open his jacket before yanking open a hidden layer of black cloth which revealed two guns, and on the other side three daggers.

I nodded, bending down with a sly smile before pulling up my dress over my legs, deliberately slowly, to reveal the gun holster around the thigh that didn't have the split. I dropped the red material and let it fall back to my feet, before grabbing the small tab at my left hip and pulling it, taking a layer of shimmering red along the way, which revealed more guns and daggers.

He chuckled, and I pulled the fabric back in place and tucking the tab back in, making myself look like a normal human being heading out for dinner. I walked over to him, splaying my hands on his chest. His tie was awfully wonky, and I took it off and on again, making it perfectly straight.

"For a man who has such skill with your fingers, you are terrible at putting on a tie." I mumbled, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

"The sooner I get it off, the better." He murmured back, lifting up my chin with his finger so I was looking into his blue-green eyes. He smiled down at me, and I smiled back, pulling away before he could kiss me and walking to the bed.

"Right, all set." I grabbed my small purse off the pillow, and walked through the door that Clint was holding open for me.

We caught a Taxi to the restaurant, which was by the beach. La Méditerranée was a single story building. The word grand wouldn't fit it.

The building was huge, said to take an hour and a half to walk the perimeter, so the Taxi driver thinks. It had a high, circular ceiling; I was almost scared to go inside.

Once we were checked twice by guards, who found nothing, we were lead down a long hall way and into a huge ballroom. We seemed tiny in comparison to this room. The ceiling was made of glass, and you could see the stars in the sky. The marble ground reflected the night sky, and the walls were adorned with ancient paintings and artifacts. Our table sat by a large window over looking the sea, and all of the Avengers stood up from their seats.

The thing that surprised me the most was the God of Thunder beaming down at us.

"Ah, my friends!" he burst out, grabbing us both in a tight bear hug and lifting us off our feet. He wore a suit much like the rest of the men; black and white, and he looked so modern without all his warrior metal all over him. He dropped us to our feet and placed a hand on each of our shoulders, smiling as we pant for breath and straighten up anything out of place.

"Hey, Thor." I finally breathed, smiling. Clint nodded and smiled, shaking his hand.

"It's good to see you." Captain America came forward, smiling handsomely and planting a soft kiss on my hand and hugging Clint lightly.

"It's good to see you too, Cap. Where have you been lately?" I asked, tucking a loose curl behind my ear.

"I visited all the major war memorials like Pearl Harbour and such. I've started to write an autobiography as well and hope to get it published along with some of my drawings S.H.I.E.L.D managed to save while I was frozen."

"Sound's great, Cap. I'd like to read it." Clint sighed, placing a hand on Steve's shoulder. He beamed, and left to sit down.

Tony walked over, and he was probably the only man here who _didn't _try to hide his wide eyes and gaping mouth at the sight of me.

"Well, well, Widow, you've still got it!" he mumbled, holding out his fist, which I hit with my own harder then necessary, and I watched him bite his lip in pain and Pepper stare at me in amusement.

"You look beautiful, Natasha" She smiled kindly, hugging me tightly.

"So do you." I smiled, and she flushed and looked down at her dark blue dress, which had no back.

"It's my favorite dress. The one she wore when we first danced." Tony smiled down at the strawberry-blonde, wounding an arm around her waist. She flushed even more, slapping him playfully on the chest.

"Hey, Hotguy, don't think we forgot about you. You look great in a suit." Tony smacked Clint playfully on the shoulder.

"I hate these monkey suits. There's no movement in them." He smiled back, pulling at his tie in annoyance.

"I couldn't agree more."

Bruce walked up hand-in-hand with a brown-haired, blue-eyed woman who was presumably Betty. She wore a black dress that made her eyes stand out as she looked at the two of us with curiosity.

"Bruce!" I beamed.

"Hi." He smiled shyly. "This is my g-girlfriend, Betty." He motioned to the woman beside him, and she smiled kindly.

"It's nice to meet the two of you." She said in a beautifully rumbling voice.

"It's nice to finally meet you, too." I smiled back.

"These are the two major assassins who helped the fight in New York. Natasha and Clint." Bruce mumbled in her ear, and her eyes widened slightly.

"Oh, wow, this is such an honour!" she sighed, shaking our hands hastily.

"Come, lets sit now, I'm starving!" Tony finally broke the conversation, and we all took our seats at the huge wooden table.

Clint instantly engaged in a conversation with Steve who sat across from him, talking about his trip to Pearl Harbour and autobiography. I sighed, leaning on my elbows and reading the menu.

Seafood, seafood and more seafood. I sighed, and decided to get the Chilli Muscles without the shells and the strongest wine they had. When the waiter came and no one knew what he was saying, I had to translate back and forth whatever they wanted and had to repeat myself often as the boy stood there opened mouthed and staring.

To my utter annoyance, Tony sat across from me.

"So, what have the two of you been up to here in the romantic city of Paris?" he asked, drawing Clint and Steve out of their conversation.

"Shopping, sight seeing, lazing about." I said bluntly.

"Anything, y'know, interesting?" He pressed.

"Look, I know where your going at, and Natasha and I aren't like that. We're strictly partners, nothing else." Clint finally spoke up, eyes stern.

"We think differently." Steve, to my surprise, cut in.

"What do you mean?" I raised an eyebrow, gripping my spoon and holding it up slightly.

"Well, the whole time Clint had been compromised by Loki, all you did was worry about him. I know that's what partners do, but every single action, every word, was for Clint. Even when you were sent to manipulate Loki, Clint was the subject, and we all know for a fact that some of the things said were true." Steve glanced down at the spoon slightly, fear filling his eyes.

"He does not lie. I know where there are strong feelings between people. Back in Asgard, I never believed in true love until I met the fare Jane, and you look at each other the same way I look at her. There is something very strong between the two of you." Thor murmured from beside me, eyes sparkling as he stared into the distance, thinking of his lover.

Bruce and Betty glanced up at each other then, both flushing and looking down at their hands.

"Why are you's all suddenly ganging up on us?" I asked, annoyed that the team of Avengers were able to see straight through me. I had been trained to hide my feelings, yet they were so noticeable.

"We're not ganging up. We are a team, and I think that we should know every single detail about each other. If you two are in a relationship, don't hide it. We don't." Tony motioned to Pepper, Bruce and Betty.

"Tony's right. There is nothing to be ashamed about. We're all family now. We will support any one of you with anything we can. We just need to know _what_" Pepper mumbled, eyes wide and honest.

"We think it's only fair. The two of you have the privilege of knowing everything about us, by looking into our files at S.H.I.E.L.D or even coming to spy on us and deceive us," Tony shot a glance at me. "So why can't we know anything about you?"

I looked at Clint, who stared back with guilt-ridden eyes. I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"Fine. Look into our files. I'm sure you have already tried hacking into them, but S.H.I.E.L.D has our files under different names. They're too precious for unworthy eyes to see. We'll send and unlock them for you." I said coldly, glaring at Stark.

Everyone stared at the two of us, concerned with my harsh reaction.

"You know, if it's really that big of a deal, I'm sure we can all let it slide and-" Bruce started.

"No. Tony's right. We know everything about you, so you can know everything about us." Clint smiled, but I could tell by his tensed posture that he was uncomfortable with the idea of people knowing about him.

So much red on our ledgers.

"What happened to you, Widow?" Tony asked suddenly. I snapped my attention to him, glaring.

"You used to be kinder, when you came in to spy on me. I don't know if it was an act but when you were in agent-mode, you were completely different. Softer eyes, sweeter voice, even when threatening someone. Now you're cold, stiff, even around Director Fury. I assumed it was because Clint was gone, but even with him back and your free to do as you like, your still that cold woman."

For the first time this night I was speechless. I knew he was right, and I knew it was more than noticeable that I had changed. Clint had questioned me about it countless times, asked why I was so cold. I was sure there was a permanent frown etched into my brow.

I guess that's what tragedy does to you.

I looked around at everyone at the table. They all seemed curious, worried, and I felt like I was being targeted in the group.

"When you lose someone you loved…" I mumbled, just above a whisper. "Everything comes crashing down around you. You can't get away from it."

"Nat?" Clint's hand rested on my own, prying the spoon out of it and twining his fingers in mine.

I glanced up at him, then at Pepper. The two people at this table I really felt comfortable talking with. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply.

"I was going to tell you when you got back from New Mexico when Thor decided to arrive and take you away from me for months." I chuckled coldly, and I felt Thor shift uncomfortably beside me. "Then it happened."

"Then what happened, Nat?" Clint pressed on, leaning forward slightly. I glanced up at him, eyebrows knitted together sadly.

The whole table was quiet and tense, all leaning in to hear my quiet voice. I took a shaky breath.

"I had a miscarriage, Clint."

Everyone froze, everyone gasped, everyone stared at me in shock and sorrow. I gripped Clint's hand tightly as I felt it loosen, and I was too much of a coward to look up at him.

Our food came then, but nobody touched their steamy plates. They pushed them away with a look of disgust.

"Was it mine?" Clint finally choked out, not looking at me. I simply nodded, closing my eyes for a few seconds.

"I'm so sorry." I finally whispered. "It was such a painful loss, I didn't want to bring it up ever again. I tried to forget it but I always blamed myself. I thought of it as punishment for being the murderer I was. And you didn't deserve to have to bear that loss as well." He slipped his hand away from mine and I clutched the edge of the table desperately.

* * *

_I had been in pain all day. At first I assumed I was going to be getting my period soon, but then I realised that it wouldn't be coming for a very long time. I smiled, placing a hand on my flat stomach but knew something precious grew in there._

_All agents were required to have a check up every month for any sicknesses or such, in case it could affect our work and it needed to be cleaned up as soon as possible._

_To my utter shock, I was told I was seven weeks pregnant and that a tiny embryo was forming in my body._

_I knew I should have been worried, as a child could not fit into the life of an assassin, but I knew deep down and Clint and I could work things out for the child that didn't involve S.H.I.E.L.D taking it away. Coulson would be sure of that._

_I had already started choosing names, finally feeling like the woman I was. Scarlett if it was a girl, Jeremy if it was a boy. _

_So when I had heavy cramps in my lower stomach, it worried me. I knew nothing of pregnancy, so I simply assumed it was one of the things that I would have to go through in the nine months of carrying the child. _

_I exercised it off, drinking lots of water and taking some panadol to calm the pain, but it continued to feel like something was tearing it's way out of my body inside out. _

_I chose to go to bed early that night, hoping the pain would go away in the morning. I thought about Clint and how I would tell him the good news, and I thought of his reaction. _

_It had been one night, one night of sweet love making which we both had wanted for a very long time. And that one night turned out to bloom into something wonderful. _

_I curled up into bed that night, sleeping in one of Clint's gray shirts that went down mid-thigh, a pair of lacy underwear beneath it. He would be back in a couple of weeks. Coulson had flown in this morning from New Mexico to strategize with Fury about Jane Fosters research and he would be leaving tomorrow afternoon. I hope to talk to him before then._

_It had been three in the morning when I woke up._

_The first thing I noticed was the soaking wet feeling that pooled around my lower region. I first thought I had gotten my period, but remembered the child. The second thing I noticed was the pain inside of me, and I reached over to the bedside table, turning on the lamp and pulled the sheets aside, only to reveal a pool of blood, fresh and old. I swung my legs off the bed, standing up and being met with another gush of blood, which dripped down my legs._

_This couldn't be happening._

_I stumbled to the bathroom, leaving bloody footprints behind. My small cabin in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s base smelt of metal, and I doubled over the toilet and vomited drastically. _

_I didn't know what to do, and I began to sob as another wave of blood gushed out from below. _

_I grabbed my small S.H.I.E.L.D phone and dialled Coulson's number with shaky fingers._

"_Agent Coulson." His voice came over the speaker, and I could hear the tired strain in his tone._

"_Phil!" I gasped, wiping away my tears. "Phil, I need your help, please, come down!" _

"_Natasha, what's wrong?" his voice now sounded worried, and I could hear the rustle of material over the line and the sound of a door slamming shut._

"_Just come," I sobbed, looking down at the puddle of blood, which looked frighteningly red against the white tiles._

_Not a minute later, Coulson used his key to unlock my door. I stood up, supporting myself on the porcelain toilet to peak through the bathroom door._

_He stood there in a dark blue dressing gown; I had never seen him so scruffy looking. He stared in shock at the pool of blood on the bed, then at the bloody footprints on the carpet, and finally to the bathroom. He came running in, eyes widening._

_Blood. There was so much blood._

"_What happened?!" he nearly yelled, coming up to me, but I pushed him back as I felt more blood drip down my legs._

"_My baby… my…my…" I sobbed, and his eyes widened as realization washed over. He gripped my shoulders, guiding me to the shower and turning it on. I breathed in heavily, and he turned around as I pulled off the blood soaked shirt and panties and threw them into the shower. I walked under the hot water, watching as the blood flowed off my legs and washed down the drain, followed by several blood clots, one particularly larger then the others. _

_I let out a cry in Russian, dropping to my knees. _

_The child was gone, forever._

_I sobbed into my hands. I had never felt so week. The only thing that was purely mine and Clint's, the only thing that ever really felt real to me, was gone._

_This was one of the moment's I wished that the Red Room would wash it all away and leave me wondering what that small gap in my memory that I couldn't remember was. _

_I sat there for a long moment, my sobbing slowing down as I began to control myself once again._

_It wasn't even real, I told myself. It felt no pain, it didn't understand what was going on. It died before it was even alive._

_I stood up then, another gush of blood pouring down the drain at the movement. I shut the shower down and opened the curtain. There was a towel waiting for me by the sink and some fresh underwear, pyjamas and a sanitary pad. The blood was all gone, and the towel was black so I wouldn't have to see the stains from my legs. Coulson thought of everything._

_I got dressed with shaky hands. Coulson chose my favourite sweat pants and jumper for me to wear. This man was like the father I never had._

_I looked at myself in the mirror. My curly hair dripping wet and… red. My eyes swollen and puffy and… red._

_I growled, punching the mirror and watching it shatter into hundreds of pieces. I felt my hand begin to bleed, and I washed it under the tap, not looking at the blood. _

_I finally walked out of the bathroom, noticing the towels, which covered my bloody tracks. My bed had been stripped of sheets and mattress alike, and I momentarily wondered where I would be sleeping tonight, but soon realized that sleep would not come. _

_Coulson walked out of the kitchen with two steaming mugs in his hand, his eyes hard as he nodded to the small lounge and sat down, and I plopped beside him._

_He handed me my mug and I hugged it close to my chest, taking a small sip. Hot chocolate with extra sugar, just the way I liked it. I leaned onto his shoulder, resting my head against it, bringing my legs onto the lounge and curling up into him as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder._

"_What did you do with the… the…" _

"_Burnt them." He replied before I finished. "A new mattress is on it's way."_

_I nodded, taking another small sip and holding back the tears that threatened to spill over._

"_Thank you." I finally said, and he squeezed my shoulder tightly in response._

"_Was it his?" he finally asked._

"_Yes. Yes it was." I choked out._

"_Are you going to tell him?"_

_I thought about this for a moment._

"_No. No, he didn't know I was pregnant in the first place, so he doesn't have to know we lost it." I decided._

"_Well, your secrets safe with me." Coulson grabbed my now empty cup and placed both of ours on the small coffee table. _

"_Thank you." I said again. He smiled sadly down at me._

"_Should we make a memorial?" he asked, and I laughed sadly._

"_One day."_

"_Did you think of names?"_

"_I did." I sighed._

"_What were they?"_

"_If it was a girl, it would be Scarlett. If it was a boy, Jeremy." _

"_Why?"_

"_Because I know Clint likes those names." I whispered, letting another tear fall off my cheek. _

"_Maybe one day those names can be used for someone else." Coulson smiled down at me._

"_Maybe."_

* * *

_**So, tell me what you think, I'm too tired to edit and such so just leave a review and make a girl happy.**_

_**P.S I thought it would be sweet to use Scarlett and Jeremy as their childs name because they're the names of the actors who created the two assassins.**_


	6. Anger

"You didn't tell me?" Clint breathed from beside me.

"You didn't need to know."

The smell of seafood rose to my nose, and it suddenly made me feel rather ill. I pushed it away, and noticed everyone staring at Clint, who was now rising from his seat and storming out of the enormous room.

"You've got some explaining to do." Tony said rather harshly, looking at me with cold eyes. I simply nodded.

"Are you going to go after him?" Steve placed a hand on my shoulder. His eyes were soft and sad.

"I have to."

Clint was leaning against the outside wall, arms crossed over his chest and eyes staring blankly ahead. I almost felt afraid to approach him, but I had no choice.

"Clint, listen…"

"No." he cut me off. "We're a team, Agent-" I was stunned with what he just called me. "-And partners are supposed to tell each other _everything, _wether it be good or bad. "

"I didn't think you would need to know."

He scoffed at me, standing upright. He looked like he was about to hit me, and I would let him if he tried.

"You didn't think I needed to know that my partner lost a fucking _child _while I was off on a mission? And it was _my_ child too?!"

I tucked a curl behind my ear, feeling speechless all over again.

"I didn't want to hurt you."

He stared at me for a moment, eyes mingling with sadness and anger and I knew he would never forgive me.

"Yeah, well how do you think I feel now?"

He pushed past me, walking back into the restaurant as I stand in the night with the cold wind whipping at my body and the weight of the world on my shoulders.

* * *

Clint didn't speak to me for days. He made himself a pathetic little bed on the floor so he wouldn't have to sleep with me, and he left in the early hours of the morning to wander around Paris and would return late at night when I would be laying in bed but not asleep, always waiting for his return.

By the time the month was over and we were to return to Stark Tower that was now being renamed the Avengers Tower or some crap like that, he hadn't said a single word to me.

The others could feel the tension between us, and we wall took the same jet home, which made things even worse. Clint sat on the totally opposite side of the jet from me, next to Steve, who was looking back and forth between us with a frustrated look on his face.

I was sitting next to Thor, who was bouncing with excitement at the flying machine we were in.

Soon Tony and Pepper came over and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Can we have a word with you?" Pepper asked kindly, smiling down at me.

I raised an eyebrow but got up anyway, following them behind the curtain that leads to the toilet.

"What's going on between the two of you?" Tony said almost as soon as the curtain fell shut.

"He's still mad at me." I shrugged.

"Good, I would be too."

Pepper slapped him on the arm and he winced slightly. I glared at him and felt like slapping him myself.

"I can understand where you were coming from with the whole not-wanting-to-tell-Clint thing, but it's only expected that he would be mad at you for keeping it a secret. He's very loyal and devoted to you, Natasha. He obviously wanted to be there for you when it all happened… I guess he feels betrayed that you didn't think he was strong enough to know or-"

"It would have broken him, Pepper!" I sighed, rubbing my forehead as I felt a headache coming on.

"But that's the thing, it broke you too, didn't it? You's could have grieved together, and healed together. But now the two of you have to grieve at totally different times, and that's not a healthy way to be in a relationship."

"We're not in a relationship."

"Oh, cut it out already!" Tony snapped suddenly. "I'm sick of the two of you acting like there's nothing going on between you, considering you've lose his child and the only thing you care about in life is him!"

I punched tony just below his eye. He staggered back and looked at me in surprised shock, holding his face. Pepper screamed, and Steve, Clint and Thor came rushing into the room, basically ripping the curtain in their haste to get here.

I stood there, breathing heavily and feeling my fist tingle with joy at finally being able to knock Tony off his feet. I glared at him and he did the same.

"What's going on here?" Steve said from behind me. Bruce and Betty slowly made their way in, staring wide-eyed at the bruise already forming on Tony's face.

"Someone needs to learn to keep their mouth shut." I hissed.

"You know Tony loves his own voice, that's never going to happen." Clint said coldly, glaring at me.

Tony grabbed Pepper's waist and rubbed the bruise below his eye as tears leaked from it.

"Someone needs to learn to accept the truth and not get violent when she does!" Tony snapped back.

"Everyone calm down!" Steve sighed, and Thor chuckled lightly behind him. I threw him a glance, and he winked as I smiled at him lightly.

"Steve's right. So much violence and anger in such a small flying object wont lead to anything good." Bruce twiddled his thumbs slightly, and Betty glanced at him in concern.

"Whatever." Tony grumbled, and everyone eventually filed out, leaving Clint and I behind.

I huffed and pushed past him, but he caught my wrist and yanked me back to where I was standing.

"What the fuck was that?!"

"I don't know!" I shot back, yanking my wrist out of his grasp. "Maybe I'm just a bit angry and stressed because my partners been ignoring me for the past week and Tony only bought it upon himself."

"Don't make this my fault, Agent, you had plenty of time to tell me about the miscarriage before-"

"_Don't call me agent!"_ I basically screamed, and heard concerned mumbles from behind the ruined curtain.

He stared at me coldly for a minute.

"What's happening to us?" he said mostly to himself, and he turned away and walked out, leaving me alone.

I leaned against the wall and sank to the ground, bringing my knees to my chest and resting my head on my arms. I let out a frustrated growl as tears began to leak from my eyes.

Everything was ruined. I should never have told him. I should have kept it between Phil and I.

Now the whole team thinks I'm some hormonal bitch who hits anyone if they say something against me and keeps secrets from those I love.

Everything was ruined.

* * *

I hadn't realised I'd fallen asleep until Steve was shaking my shoulder and I suddenly lashed out at him as my instincts told me to, and eventually I was straddling him from behind and pinning his arms to his back.

"Natasha!" he choked out, "It's me!"

I glanced down at him, my eyes widening as I scrambled off his body and pushed myself back against the wall.

"Cap, I'm so sorry!" I gasped as he tried to stand up.

"That's alright. Next time I'll remember not to wake you up like that." He groaned, rubbing his arm softly.

"I keep hurting everyone." I mumbled, crossing my legs. Steve sat down beside me, resting his head against the wall.

"Don't worry about it. Everything will be normal soon." He mumbled, and I glanced at him once more.

"You think so?"

He looked at me, and smiled softly.

"I know so."

We sat in silence for a minute, and I could hear hushed voices from the other side of the curtain. Had they heard what I just did to Steve?

"Anyway, I was just waking you to let you know that we're landing in ten minutes, in case you wanted to freshen up or anything."

He stood up, and held out a hand to me. I grabbed it and he helped pull me up. I bent and stretched and cracked all the kinks in my body, making a note to not fall asleep in a ball against the wall in a jet again. Steve winced every time a kink cracked or popped back into place, and I threw him a sly smile, stretching my arm until my elbow let out a loud crack.

"Has he said anything?"

Steve looked uncomfortable for a moment before he shook his head. "Silent as the grave."

"Of course." I nodded, pulling the curtain aside.

Everyone turned to look at the two of us walk in. Except Clint.

"Did she beat you up too?" Tony asked, his face slightly swollen where the massive bruise was.

Steve merely chuckled and nodded, and I ignored Tony's snide comment as I took my seat next to Thor once more.

"You remind me of a friend of mine back in Asgard. Her name is Lady Sif, and she is a beautiful young woman who was forged into a warrior. She is brave and lets not man doubt her. Just like you." Thor said beside me, looking down as I stared at my thumbs.

"I'm sure she's ten times the woman I am." I mumbled.

* * *

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